Victims often appear passive as cows,
butt to couch, knee to elbow, palm to chin
nodding in pale cathode light,
humming jingles in unguarded moments
In the most severe cases,
the remote is clutched and waved about
While channels spin and ad men shout
Lingual clues to addiction include agitated exclamations:
---- "You're blocking the screen."
---- "Give me the damn remote."
---- "Where the hell is the TV Guide?"
---- and "OH MY GOD THE CABLE IS OUT!"
REMEDY:
Work quickly: Crush the remote.
Yank the plug. Ax the cable.
Slap the victim vigorously
with butterfly wings or dandelion puffs
to stimulate the circulation.
Get the victim walking
preferably along rows of rusty,
saw-toothed words in the local library
until the high wears off
Occasionally allow small swallows
of strong coffee or garlic pizza.
If the victim becomes agitated,
run down the white porch steps
out into the meadow
and earnestly roll in the grass
until laughter is induced and the crisis passes.
WARNING:
The victim will be in denial. Expect a relapse.
- Mar the Mad Walker, 1995
from Inverse Origami - the art of unfolding
--- Mar (Mistryel) Walker, © 1998
Puzzled Dragon Press
the picture is a n altered cropped portion of
an old oil painting of mine called Ascension of Video.
--- Mar (Mistryel) Walker, © 1998
Puzzled Dragon Press
the picture is a n altered cropped portion of
an old oil painting of mine called Ascension of Video.
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