Conversation Styles Differ

Hot Air

Conversation Styles Differ .... Well that's an understatement. For some, conversation is a stream-of-thought run-on-sentence without punctuation or paragraph marks. Do you talk incessantly in ever widening circles as a way of thinking out loud? As a self-soothing smoke screen to fill up the space between you and another person? If so, this is written for you.

Some other people (including me), need to breathe and have silences in a conversation. We need a meaningful deep pause to collect our thoughts and share or to respond to a speaker. If there are no silences then we will just let the speaker go on and on.

I am listening, but I might be four sentences behind your rapid speech, thinking that what you said doesn't make any sense, seems out of proportion, relies on circular reasoning or a 'straw-man' argument, or that there are facts you mentioned which were improvised out of thin air. Or that this is the 3rd time you said the same thing. Sometimes I see an assumption you have made about me which is upsetting.

But you are six or seven paragraphs ahead of me now, chatting on all by yourself, making more statements that make no sense. So I think - there are so many disparities in this that it's pointless to bring it up any of them - so I let you go on and on and on even though I am beginning to feel beleaguered, buried under all the words.

And you wont find out for weeks that that my ex-husband is dead, or that I locked myself out last night at midnight and had to climb in through the window. At some point I might seem to be getting tense. I might quite suddenly say - "let's change the subject." or "I have to go now." I might quite suddenly, vigorously object to the last thing you said -- but the arc of it is this:

You have created a lengthy machine gun attack of words, and I have finally responded by running into an underground bunker and closing the door.

Inspiration's lineage: the discipline of play

To many teachers, this picture might well represent the ideal student that they have never before seen. Eager, empty and knowing it, friendly, waiting to be filled with knowledge. HAHAHAHA. Dream on teacher friends!

The figure in the painting represents a muse and the conceptual problem with it is the same as the basic conceptual problem with many folks notion of education. The muse has appeared at a light source, removed the top of his head, and is indicating to the unknown source to "Fill 'er up!" Presumably, the muse will the travel to artists and musicians etc  in need of inspiration.  Then the muse will pour off a bit of inspiration into their heads....

But the world really doesn't work this way nor does education. Getting inspired, getting an idea, and getting educated are not passive activities.  They require preparation and effort, though the spark may come at a moment when the prep has paused.....   You have to have been entertaining various notions for a new one to pop into your head.  Reading or looking or thinking or writing or painting or playing generally happens first, usually on a regular basis. So this is another way of saying that inspiration is often the result of that boring old thing: discipline, even if it is a discipline of regular mental play.....  (hmm some irony there)

ABOUT THE PAINTING: This painting of mine is an oil on canvas which went to Cape Coral Florida with Sharon and Jim Houston many years ago,  I don't know where they are now, or if some hurricane has destroyed the canvas or if they sold it in some weekend garage sale.  Or if they are even still alive or have moved to god knows what state. I was known as Misti in those days, and that is how I signed this painting. This picture was scanned in from an old snap-shot.

-- M.M. (Mar) Walker

Weep for the Dead

On this 4th of July weekend - that celebrates the birthday of a nation who's present government violently pursues its agenda at the expense of ethics, decency and common sense  - I offer this oil pastel/watercolor called Weep for the Dead.

We have taken our freedom and our equality and turned it into a crass, egotistical culture that values Blackwater, Halliburton and their like and lets the poor drown in a flood. That believes valor can be bought.

We are like the British empire of old, we are in decline. Selah.

New painting underway

It's based on this drawing:

12 by 12 inch, oil painting on a deep cradled masonite panel - sitting here on the mantel. It's from a 2000 sketch that I hadn't yet painted... It's isn't finished and in fact - I bought the panel Tuesday after I mailed my taxes. Poor woman needs a face, the tree needs some leaves etc etc. I am thinking of calling it "Bad Date" or maybe "three fences" or "Witness" or "The Blue Dress" I have to wait and see how it looks when it's done (which could be quite different) The original sketch for the painting at the right, was much more ominous than this currently appears - but there are more layers to add. At the same time I am working on a second painting - which is wild and non-objective.

One thing I like about art - I don't have to wait for 20 people to do it with, or the approval of some perfectionist director / producer / conductor, etc., or of the reigning stars. I don't even have to worry about the kevetching of an audience while or immediately after I am performing. I don't need to perfectly follow a script or score written by someone else, nor do I have to listen to complaints about how awful I am, or intimations that I am not musical. If I make a mistake in paint, I can study it, and fix it, as oils, can be changed and tweaked. I can paint in my room without ever showing it to anyone. It can be a private world. Or I can post it here and reject disparaging or irrelevant comments. Do I sound a little defensive? I have a sore throat on one side and my tinnitus is really loud today. (And was Wednesday night too, when I was just awful.)