Saturday, January 19, 2008

Power & risk of focus

Let's say you have a couple of million gallons of water on the move...

The stuff could be spread out over acres and acres in a shallow flood. It could bleed off in to a network of irrigation ditches to feed the needs of others, or detour in to four or five isolated rivulets, each on its own path. Or it could drain furiously down one channel that gets deeper and cleaner as the flow progresses picking up momentum on its way to the ocean at the end of everything.

Lately my life feels a lot like the first option. I have been a wide stream on a gentle incline - acres and acres wide - covering a lot of ground very slowly, without particular direction. I have washed a lot of silt along with a lot of trash, all going nowhere in particular, going nowhere in leisurely cluttered way without momentum of any kind.

Yesterday I got out my shovel and started digging a more focused path for this flow of life force. As I was digging there were shovels of stuff I threw over my shoulder onto the banks. There were at least three people who only call when they need something, a few activities like shallow ditches heading off in the wrong direction that needed to be filled in, and a couple of financial drains I plugged up with a shovelful of determination and a firm NO! It was work, but it's a start. Well see how it works out, and if I can resist the big sucking effect when things that are sinking, or just flowing off in the wrong direction, try to pull you back...

-- Mar Walker