Apparently it's something about the drinker having to bear their own choices. And for people who care to detach and not bear the drinkers choices for them, because in the long run it hurts the drinker and enables them to go on making bad choices and drags the helper down too.
I was told not to help because helping might not be helping. And I didn't after saying I would. I don't know if I made the right decision or not. It seems harsh to detach but people tell me it will never end. and some you are staring down the deep well where their problem is your problem too and is now destroying both of you.
This article at Psych Central tells about enabling.
I don't want to resent this person. I want to step away before I do. I don't know if meetings are being attended. I don't know what steps are being taken to turn the life around. And really I don't need to know. because it's not my life to manage and fret over. And that is what I did this whole day. Fret about it. I am still freaking fretting about it. Which is why I really have to detach.