I found this chart kind of shocking on both sides....

This is the Pew Research Center's findings on how ideology influences child rearing priorities. I really am shocked by the omissions on both ends of the ideological spectrum.  Shocked by how little empathy and persistence are taught at all. Even being well-mannered gets short shrift. And curiosity - asking questions is at the bottom of lot on both sides.  This does not bode well for the future.

Here is the link to the article on the Pew Center article:

http://www.people-press.org/2014/09/18/how-is-ideology-linked-to-child-rearing-values/

Staying home and not driving is GREEN

I have a new double rationalization for being a recluse.

Because of Facebook (which I am not on right now) and other internet connections, I get invited to a lot of events by poets and musicians I know.  As a family caregiver, if I don't get out sometimes, I have only a mostly deaf 80 year old for company. And that can be daunting. So I have to go out as much as possible for my own sanity.

Yet somehow, for me getting out is always tricky. A) I am reclusive, and by nature tend to stay home and putter. B) I have family caregiver duties and getting out requires timing, setup and/or advance planning for outside help.  C) Conserving resources is a priority. E) Often despite my efforts and intentions, some last minute problem keeps me home anyway.

Increasingly, the merits of driving far seem doubtful. The news about methane, fossil fuels, sea level rise, and the slow march we are making to possible oblivion is not the cheeriest. And the economy is pretty bleak from my point of view.

So now, whether  I stay home by choice, necessity or purely by accident, I have this new comforting rationalization: I think, well, at least I am not spending money on, nor burning fossil fuel to get to some near but far location.

As a part time recluse, I enjoy many solitary pursuits. painting, drawing, writing poems and songs, taking walks, blogging, tweeting, thinking, yardening, reading, watching netflix, music practice etc etc.  None of these require driving.

Balance is the thing though. Like everyone else I need to see other humans and so I do go out, though I try to make it local. So to all you promoters of far-flung events - I  appreciate the invites and heartily wish your events flourish. That said -- I am so sorry to miss your bit, but these days I am often to be found closer to home.

After saying all that I suddenly have an intense desire for a road trip :)

Morning walk in not quite crisp air

I set out this morning at 6:15am on a walk. From hospital hill,  hanging there in the sky was a huge full moon. It surprised me hovering there over the trees looking big, bright and odd. On these walks I've been noticing the fall flowers still blooming. It was 55 degrees this morning. No frost in sight. Yet.

I've also been enjoying a new fountain at the hospital main entrance, which sits in the middle of a serenity pond/garden.  It appears designed to make friendly splashy noises for relaxation.  There are benches for sitting and contemplating which can be done, preferably, with a nice hot cup of coffee in hand from the coffee shop.

Great triple play Three Wordsmiths

One of my favorite poets Charles Rafferty (Man on the Tower, The Unleashable Dog etc etc) gave a dynamic reading Monday (9/8/24) evening at the Booth Library in Newtown at an event called Three Wordsmiths. On the bill and just as wonderful were Barry Dougherty, head writer for Friars Club Roast and playwright, actor, performance poet Patrick Kearney. Wow. 

The triple bill drew a large audience leaving few empty seats in the program room - and they wowed that audience. Frankly we loved them all!  They were funny unpredictable and so hysterically human.  For more events from the Newtown Arts Festival: http://newtownartsfestival.com For more poets (including me) check the events table for the two day main festival on Sept 13-14. The column on the far right is the Poetry Salon.

PS love library events. after-dinner timing, home by 9:15.

When does enabling start?

The answer to this question for me is: I don't know really.

Apparently it's something about the drinker having to bear their own choices. And for people who care to detach and not bear the drinkers choices for them,  because in the long run it hurts the drinker and enables them to go on making bad choices and drags the helper down too.

I was told not to help because helping might not be helping. And I didn't after saying I would. I don't know if I made the right decision or not. It seems harsh to detach but people tell me it will never end. and some you are staring down the deep well where their problem is your problem too and is now destroying both of you.

 This article at Psych Central tells about enabling.

 I don't want to resent this person. I want to step away before I do. I don't know if meetings are being attended. I don't know what steps are being taken to turn the life around. And really I don't need to know. because it's not my life to manage and fret over. And that is what I did this whole day. Fret about it.  I am still freaking fretting about it. Which is why I really have to detach.